


like the weeping willow

by fernnette



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, M/M, an awkward love story, by the author and the characters, its a love story baby, just a lil baby angst, lil bitty, stupid pills were abused in the making of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fernnette/pseuds/fernnette
Summary: Edmundo Diaz wears glasses? Who knew?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 151





	like the weeping willow

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my overuse and abuse of the words cute, adorable, and soft. 
> 
> You can thank the discord, specifically doctornineandthreequarters, for the fact that I finally finished this random WIP.

Evan Buckley was a strong man physically. Mentally? He could handle whatever life throws at him if he was honest. It might take him a little while, but he will persevere. Emotionally though? Evan Buckley was as emotionally stunted as stale bread. Imagine a weeping willow, branches practically dragging along the dirt and grass while the trunk itself stands tall. A storm could blow in, tangle all of the branches, maybe even snap a few, but the tree itself will be okay. (In this scenario, the trunk was Buck’s physical body, okay? It makes sense in his head.)

Emotionally, Buck struggled to keep himself together, piece by piece losing himself to the scarring that came from lost relationships or fickle friends. He struggled to grapple with parents who didn’t understand the concept of unconditional love and support for their own children. He struggled with his own internal feelings that separate the two sides of Evan Buckley. One side that could be so self-assured and cool under pressure. A side that excelled in all things and managed to make catapulting his large body into hot air balloon baskets easy. (Let's call him Work Buck.) The other side, though, could make Buck feel so worthless, like nothing he ever did was good enough. That no matter how many times he saved a kid from a tsunami or ran back into the burning building it would never be enough. He would never be enough. (Let's call him Literally Everywhere Else Buck.)

So when his girlfriend decided to leave for a completely different country, he buried the hurt and the undeniable niggle in the depths of his belly telling him that Abby was most certainly not coming back, but he knew he would’ve waited forever for her. He would’ve done the long-distance bullshit for her even though she didn’t deserve it. Actually, he was fully prepared to hang out like an interloper in her apartment and wait until she was finished finding herself or whatever. Because even though she left, even though she made him feel like yet again he wasn’t worth sticking around for, he wanted to be the one she came back to in the end.

Then he met the most beautiful man he’d ever seen in his whole life.

Eddie Diaz brought out a hurricane of emotion in Evan Buckley’s little world. A natural disaster in the form of tan skin, dark hair, and a confidence to rival his own. Buck wanted to hate him, wanted to despise him with every fiber of his being, and believe him, he tried like hell. He tried to pretend that he was jealous of this new guy coming in and acting like he was somehow more valuable to the team than Buck when in reality he was struggling with the overwhelming guilt of being incredibly attracted to this man when he had a girlfriend. Granted, she was thousands of miles away and having her own little Eat, Pray, Love siesta.

(Okay, and maybe he was a little jealous, too, but that’s not important for the sake of the timeline.)

Somehow Eddie Diaz became his confidant, his best friend, the keeper of all his secrets, and as much as Buck could feel himself falling deeper and deeper into his totally-not-platonic feelings for Eddie, he also just enjoyed having a friend like him. That was something Buck didn’t have a lot of. It was like his eyes had finally been pried open to how wonderful it was to have someone to talk with and complain to outside of work and family. Eddie did that, _does that_ , for him.

How could he give that up?

So he didn’t. He hasn’t. He won’t.

Or he thought he wouldn’t.

He thought he’d be able to keep his secret fascination and affection for Eddie Diaz a secret from all parties involved until he was on his deathbed, and he might not even tell anyone then. Maybe this was a _take-it-to-your-grave_ type of a secret.

Then Eddie walked out of the locker room after shift one day wearing a pair of partially black framed, scholarly classes. His hair was still damp from his shower, and Buck would swear on the Bible that he could see a small droplet of water trail down his temple before Eddie’s hand swept up to wipe it away. Buck froze where he was leaning against the big truck waiting for Eddie to come out.

Eddie rubbed a knuckle into his eye tiredly, bumping his glasses and dislodging them for a moment before righting them with a sigh, and Buck stared, gaping at Eddie like it was the first time all over again.

The contrast between rugged and cute was striking. Without glasses, Eddie looked one hundred percent capable of horrific things like beating a man in an underground fight club or throwing Buck against a wall and having his dirty way with him. But with glasses? _With glasses!_ Buck was reminded of that time he was sent to the principal’s office in fifth grade, and Mr. Torres spoke softly to him, kindly, like Buck hadn’t stuffed an eraser up a girl’s nose. He thought he might’ve had a little crush on Mr. Torres after that. Guess what he wore? Glasses!

Eddie strolled over to him, smacking his shoulder lightly with a nod toward the parking lot. “You coming?”

“Since when do you wear glasses?” Buck blurted.

Eddie sighed frustratedly, pushing them cutely up his nose. “Like third grade. I hate them, so annoying.” Eddie shook his head, jutting his chin toward the lot again. “Let’s go.”

Buck couldn’t move his feet though. Literally. His whole body was frozen inspecting Eddie in his cute glasses. Buck’s mind immediately went into overdrive, shorting out quickly. Burnt coils and screeching gears brought everything to a standstill, nothing more than a hollow shell of who he was.

Because Eddie’s glasses were doing _things_ to him.

They stared at one another for a long moment. Eddie frowned at Buck’s critical stare, fiddling with his glasses self-consciously, as if he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar while Buck tilted his head to the side, examining the eyewear perched on Eddie’s nose.

They were scholarly glasses, very American-Typewriter in their bold, black brow line frame and thin, metal surrounding the lenses, and the way they made Eddie look like he was either going to throw on a thick sweater with patches on the elbows and teach him mathematics, or he was writing the next great American novel. There could literally not be any in between in Buck’s head. Either he was secretly a professor (but when would his schedule allow for that), or he was moonlighting as a writer under a wonky pseudonym.

Nothing else would be suitable for these glasses.

“Yo, man,” Eddie snapped in front of Buck’s face, and he blinked dry eyes at the sudden movement. When Buck was able to lift his eyes back to Eddie’s, he bit the inside of his cheek, gnawing at the pink flesh as his nerves bubbled over. Eddie was frowning, an angry frown. “Do I look that bad? Can’t we just move on?”

“No.”

 _No,_ _you don’t look that bad,_ Buck wanted to say. _No, we cannot just move on,_ Buck tried. _No, I will not forget this ever happened,_ Buck opened his mouth to blurt, but he couldn’t.

Some sane, rational, completely practical and logical part of him knew that either way he was about to make things awkward between them, and that would be their downfall. The end of all ends because Buck couldn’t just lie straight through his teeth and pretend Eddie Diaz in glasses didn’t make his man parts jerk like he was a teenager going through puberty again.

“No?” Eddie questioned incredulously. “What do you mean, no? Jesus Christ, look,” Eddie reached up, violently pulling the glasses off his face and tucking them into his bag. “Now, can we go? You’ll have to drive—”

And then Buck let out a spectacular whine that literally froze the air around them.

And because Buck was clearly losing his marbles over _a pair of glasses and the soft, adorable presence they gave Eddie’s entire being_ , he choked out, “Put them,” he waved at Eddie’s face, “back. On your face. Now.”

And because Eddie had clearly taken stupid pills in the locker room before he came out, his brow furrowed, anger spiking again. “No, they obviously bother you, so they’re gone. Can we go now?”

“Put. The. Glasses. On.” Buck stepped into the man’s space, eyes wide and pleading. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. He always thought Eddie was unbelievably hot without glasses, but god help him, Buck was discovering new kinks here. He needed to deny, confirm, check the gate, that’s a wrap.

“Oh… _oh._ ” Eddie mumbled, slowly reaching one hand into the side pocket of his duffle to search for the glasses cautiously as if Buck were close to exploding and any sudden movement might be just the thing to detonate him.

When he finally managed to find the damn things, he slid them on slowly, very slowly and gently, awkwardly as he positioned them then dropped his hands to hang at his sides, face showing how completely unsure of himself he was in the moment.

Buck swallowed, deciding that since he’d already made things awkward and practically given himself away anyways he was going to just say it. Just spill everything. Just open that can of worms all over the place. Make a damn mess where everyone can see.

“I—”

The shrill ringing of Eddie’s cellphone cut him off, and Eddie hesitated for a moment before reaching into the same side pocket of the duffle and pulling out his phone. He frowned down at the caller ID then declined the call.

“Sorry, scam, I think.” Eddie explained. His features softened, giving Buck his full attention again, eyes shining, waiting. “What were you about to say?”

“Uh,” Buck hesitated.

His courage had waned, distracted by the way Eddie looked so soft and _cute_ in front of him like one of the animals from Snow White. His hoodie and sweatpants made him look cozy, and even though he was clearly tired after working such a long shift, he seemed on that odd cusp of a second wind. Sleepy, snuggled in thick clothing, wearing nerdy glasses with wide, attentive eyes.

He was everything Buck had ever wanted.

But his tongue was thick and sticky in his mouth, an unexpected heaviness weighing him down until he swallowed against it, rubbing firmly at his chest to dispel the tightness threatening to send him to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

Eddie was watching him, waiting expectantly, and Buck just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say it anymore. He wanted to. God, did he want to. Because it was obvious to Buck, Eddie, and everyone else in a mile radius that Buck was feeling things that definitely needed to be shared with the group.

Instead, he said, “Not important.” He forced a smile, ignoring the way Eddie’s face drooped slightly, a flash of disappointment shooting across his features before it was gone, and he was schooling his face, an answering smile forming on his perfect lips. Buck clapped him on the shoulder as usual and maneuvered Eddie in front of him, hands resting on Eddie’s shoulders as he guided him toward their vehicles. “Let’s go crash for a while. You look like you need the extra beauty sleep.”

Eddie snorted, and Buck felt grateful he couldn’t see the telltale signs of the lie on his face. “You’re one to talk with your ugly mug.”

“Ouch.”

Eddie smirked, “Just come on.”

.oOo.

Buck was able to keep it together for two days.

He kept his mouth sealed tight. Locked it and threw away the key…for two days.

He made it through the shift without giving anything away; though, that’s probably because he promptly decided after his awkward behavior the other night that he would avoid Eddie at all costs until he managed to get his _feelings_ under control again. It shouldn’t be that hard. Hell, Buck’s had to go through this process several times over, so this was no big deal for him. Piece of cake.

And he was doing pretty good…maybe... Well, he was struggling just a little, but he was making it, okay?

Until Eddie freaking Diaz knocked on his door after Buck ran off, practically vanished into thin air, after their shift to hide out in his apartment. His mind needed a break from being on guard around Eddie, and this was the opposite of helping.

And to make matters worse, Eddie was wearing those damn glasses, perched adorably on his nose like he always wore them, and Buck might’ve believed Eddie actually wore the things if he didn’t fidget with them every few seconds, like he wasn’t quite used to the disturbance on his face. He wasn’t. In all their years of friendship, Buck hadn’t once seen Eddie wear his glasses. Hell, he hadn’t even known the man wore contacts for crying out loud!

“Buck?” Eddie leaned forward into Buck’s space, hands clasped behind his back, and Buck’s eyes widened comically as he jerked backwards out of the doorway.

“What, uh, what are you doing here?” Buck asked, stumbling his way into the kitchen. He shuffled across the floor, tripping over his shoe he’d just toed off not fifteen minutes ago before grabbing onto the counter for safety, tossing a nervous smile at the other man over his shoulder.

Eddie calmly strolled into the kitchen, opening the fridge like he owned the place and pulling two beers out before popping the caps off expertly. He slid one across the counter to Buck, and Buck managed to right himself enough to catch it before it slid off the counter. Eddie stared at him. Stared like Buck was a complex math equation he couldn’t figure out, which maybe wasn’t a good analogy since he wasn’t sure how proficient Eddie was at math anyways. It didn’t matter really, he guessed. The point was he was boring holes through Buck with the intensity of his laser focus.

Buck squirmed uncomfortably. “What, man?” He wiped at his face randomly. “Do I have something on my—”

“You know,” Eddie interrupted, crossing his arms over his stunning chest, “I was confused at first. I thought you were _disgusted_ by the glasses for some reason, which didn’t make sense. Who’s got a problem with glasses, man?”

“What? I don’t—”

Eddie continued over Buck, “So I thought, you know, why wouldn’t you just say you didn’t like them? You’re an honest guy, right?”

Buck didn’t respond, his gut telling him this was a rhetorical question.

Turns out, his gut was wrong because Eddie gestured at him with a hand, and his eyebrows raised like he was waiting for a simple yes or no from Buck.

“Uh,” Buck struggled, “yes?”

Eddie tilted his head coyly, eyes narrowing behind the lenses of his glasses. “You’re unsure if you’re an honest guy?”

“What?” Buck shook his head, mind scrambling to make sense of what was happening. “No, I’m—you know, honesty is the best policy… Is this about that exploding pumpkin thing? Did Chris tell you because he swore—”

Eddie almost spit his beer out onto the counter. “Exploding _what_? You roped my son into something crazy and asked him to lie?”

“Uh…” Buck swallowed, lips quirking in an awkward half smile, “You were helping your Abuela, and I just thought…”

Eddie waved a hand dismissively. “No. Stop. It’s fine. This isn’t about…exploding pumpkins or whatever.”

Buck nodded solemnly, “What is this about then? Because, not that I don’t love your company,” _he does love Eddie’s company so much, oh god,_ “I was about to throw on a load of laundry then crash. You know, because we just worked a crazy shift?”

“Yeah, the point…” Eddie inhaled deeply. As he exhaled he rounded the counter with a steely look of determination on his face that honestly terrified Buck. “I thought you hated the glasses, but I realized you don’t hate them.”

Buck stared wide eyed at Eddie, now within five feet of him, as Buck’s mind started to piece the puzzle together in his mind. It was clear where Eddie was taking this, and immediately Buck realized this was a good, old fashioned talking to. Eddie was about to let him down gently so they could move on with their friendship still intact.

“Yeah, uh, I don’t hate them. They suit you really well actually.” Buck weighed the pros and cons quickly in his mind as he tried to decide whether to play totally oblivious or own up to his stupid, stupid feelings. _Denial._ “I was just shocked to see them. I didn’t even know you wore contacts.”

“Uh-huh.” Eddie stepped closer, and Buck took a step back instinctively. Eddie arched a brow. “I think it was something else.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Eddie took another step closer, and Buck stepped back again. “I think you like them more than you let on.” _Step forward. Step back._ “I think you don’t just _like_ them. I think you _love_ them.” _Step forward. Step back._ “Right?”

Buck tilted his head, pursing his lips in mock-confusion. “Hm?” Great deflection, Buck.

Eddie grinned, clearly loving how easy it was to tease Buck merciless about his quite obvious attraction to Eddie’s glasses. For every step forward Eddie managed, Buck took a step back until suddenly his back hit the wall with a thump, and Eddie’s grin grew wider, a glint of mischief in his pretty eyes as he stepped into Buck’s personal space.

Eddie brought his fingers up to Buck’s hair, twisting a short curl at his temple lightly around his first knuckle before releasing it with a soft sigh. He crooked his finger, trailing his knuckle over Buck’s cheek gently, caressing his blushing skin, then dropping his hand to hang back at his side.

“If I would’ve known glasses were the ticket to winning you over, I would’ve worn them for you a long time ago.”

Buck nodded then paused. Wait.

What?

“Wait… what?”

Eddie smiled shyly, his cheeks heating to a complimentary shade of red. “I’ve liked you probably since I first met you, Buck.”

“What?” Buck raised his brows, confused, shocked, and stupidly hopeful all at once.

“The other day I thought you…well, it doesn’t matter. I just decided I’m not going to hide it anymore.” Eddie took a deep breath, mustering up any bit of courage he can. “I like you, Evan Buckley. Honestly, I more than like you, but that seems too heavy for a first confession.”

Buck couldn’t do anything but stare.

Eddie’s brow dipped, panic crossing his face as Buck continued to stew in silence. Buck knew he should say something. Literally anything.

“I—”

Eddie swallowed, taking a step back, firmly positioning himself outside of Buck’s personal space, and Buck does that stupid, embarrassing whine thing again that has Eddie looking entirely too confused.

 _He thinks I’m rejecting him,_ Buck thought. _In what world would anyone, especially me, reject Eddie Diaz?_

“I love you!” Buck blurted once his tongue finally regained a little moisture. Eddie’s eyes widened like he was equally as shocked as Buck had been at the man’s confession. Buck swallowed thickly around the terrified, anxiety-riddled lump that had formed in his throat. “I’ve loved you since the beginning, and it wasn’t the glasses that sold me. Though I am _very much totally_ into the glasses. You look like a cute professor that I want to proposition for extra points on my research paper.”

Like a slo-mo video, Eddie’s answering grin builds until it’s blinding and beaming and contagious; until suddenly they’re just grinning at each other. Loony and goofy and in love.

“So,” Eddie started with a teasing lilt to his voice, “if I took the glasses off, you’d still like me?”

“This isn’t Cinderella. You don’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight or suddenly become unrecognizable without your slippers.”

“Cinderella didn’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight.”

Buck frowned, “I thought that was the whole premise. People turning into pumpkins and lizards and horses?”

“Lizards? What?” Eddie chuckled through the incredulous tone, and he shook his head. “Why are we talking about this?”

Buck licked his lips, a tingly thrill moving down his spine as Eddie followed the movement. He innocently asked, “What else should we be doing then?”

Eddie didn’t answer.

He just wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist while the other cupped the back of his neck softly. Eddie rested his forehead against Buck’s for a moment, almost as if he were just trying to convince himself this was really happening. And it was because Buck finally broke the spell, leaning forward until his lips touched Eddie’s tentatively.

It wasn’t a particularly heated kiss. There was no tongue or groping. It was probably the safest, most decent kiss Buck had ever had the pleasure of participating in. _But…_ it was the only kiss Buck’s ever had that made his blood boil, his knees weak, his mind go completely off line the entire time.

It was a kiss that made Buck feel…loved, cherished.

“I need to go,” Eddie said after breaking the kiss, forehead resting against Buck’s temple. Buck frowned, but Eddie reassured him quickly. “I practically begged Carla to stay with Chris a little longer so I could come over here.”

“I’m sure she’s dying to go home.”

Eddie cleared his throat, “You could, uh, come home with me. If you want.”

Buck didn’t need to even think about it. He just nodded quickly, enthusiastically. “That sounds…yeah, that sounds great.”

**Author's Note:**

> come manifest with me on tumblr  
> http://fernnette.tumblr.com/


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